The concept of "How To Win Without Succeeding" may sound counter-intuitive but it reflects reality.
Most motivational speeches have an anecdote that features how someone overcame tremendous odds and yet came home a winner.
The personal development and self-help world is steeped in case studies and analysis of success. Numerous studies have been undertaken on successful people to understand what it was that they did to become so successful, how they did it and when they did it - and we are led to believe that we too can achieve comparable success if we replicate this.
We are told by the self-help gurus:
“You can be anything you want to be, if you put your mind to it.”
“Your thoughts have resonance and if you think enough positive thoughts for long enough, they will manifest.
But that is just not true.
This focus on success is very odd given that:
Success is the exception rather than the rule
Every scientific discovery, every new invention, every great innovation, every new idea of substance is the product of innumerable failures.
Most people do not realize all of their dreams. Most of the time, most of us fail. Hard work, skill, focus and persistence are not enough without the randomness of chance and the alignment of many factors, principally being in the right place with the right offering at the right time in the right environment.
For every successful business person there so many more who have failed - over 95% of new businesses fail.
Many people do not find the life-partner of their dreams.
Failure is the norm. Most of the time, your plans do not work out as you wanted them to.
Understanding Our Forgotten Failures
"The first reason to turn towards failure is that our efforts not to think about failure leave us with a severely distorted understanding of what it takes to be successful. " (Oliver Burkeman)
Here are some pointers to help you understand:
Where does all this leave us? The notion that you might fail can really slow you down. But it’s not the failure itself that’s the problem. The problem is your relationship with failure.
A good failure is a powerful learning experience.
So accepting your limitations, and embracing failure as an opportunity to learn, improve and grow, what next?
Well this is where you can gain valuable insights from the world of tennis about how to win without succeeding.
"Amateurs win the game when their opponent loses points, experts win the game by gaining points. " [Shane Parrish] Simon Ramo, a scientist and statistician, wrote a fascinating little book in the 1970s: Extraordinary Tennis Ordinary Players. Ramo identifies the crucial difference between the winner’s game and a loser’s game. In his essay, The Loser’s Game,
and referencing Ramo's work, Charles Ellis calls professional tennis a
“Winner’s Game.” While there is some degree of skill and luck involved,
the game is generally determined by the actions of the winner Amateur
tennis is an entirely different game. Not in how it is played or the
rules but, rather, in how it’s won. Long and powerful rallies are
generally a thing of the past. Mistakes are frequent. Balls are
constantly hit into nets or out of bounds. Double faults are nearly as
common as faults. Over many years' of observation and analysis
Ramo had concluded that there were 2 games of tennis. One game is played
by the professionals and the other is played by the rest of us. Ramo
found that 80 percent of points in high-level matches between
professional players were the result of winning shots and only 20
percent the result of unforced errors by one’s opponent. In
contrast, the dynamics of matches between amateurs were reversed. Eighty
percent of points came from unforced errors. An amateur player seldom
“beats” an opponent; rather, the player who makes the fewest mistakes,
who simply continues to keep the ball in play, usually ends up winning. From Ramo’s perspective, if you want to win at tennis, you have to adjust your strategy to your abilities. For the “ordinary” tennis player, this means understanding that amateur tennis is a “loser’s game” where success comes from avoiding losses. The
point is that most of us are amateurs but we refuse to believe it. This
is a problem because we’re often playing the game of the professionals.
What we should do in this case, when we’re the amateur, is to invert the problem and focus on how to win without succeeding: Rather than trying to win, we should avoid losing.
Two examples: [1] NETWORKING & REFERRALS Key Point:
Accept that just because someone you know and trust believes something
to be true, does not make it so [until corroborated by market data] it
just means that they genuinely believe it to be true. Specifics: Starting out First impressions Developing the relationship Early warning signsHow To Win Without Succeeding By Avoiding Losing
How To Win Without Succeeding By Avoiding Stupidity and Unnecessary Errors
[2] DECISION MAKING & EXERCISING JUDGEMENT
Key Point:
Understand and know how to avoid: [1] Cognitive Distortions - the psychology of human misjudgement; and how to apply [2] Mental Models.
Specifics:
Here is how it all hangs together.
I have listed above - with references and resources - some examples of how to win without succeeding in significant areas in life and business and where we can all take steps to increase our chances of winning by losing less.
This is a long game and if you engage you will find that the route to winning will take you along the road less traveled.
Feel free to contact me to discuss further if any aspect of this resonates with you.
The Challenges Of The Road Less Traveled
The Law of Response and Outcome
Embracing Uncertainty & Failure Is The better Option
Your Relationship With Failure
The Luck Factor - The Power Of Expectation
Secret Of Success - Identify Your Core Desire
Your Point Of Focus - Is Helping You Or Hindering You
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